Go Free Yourself

Now you don’t have to choose just one candidate. I mean, seriously, what a hassle that has been. Simply vote the McCain/Clinton/Obama ticket this November and watch all your nightmares come true.

“This nightmare ticket presents the American people with an unprecedented lack of opportunity in 2008,” Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote Tuesday. “For just one vote, citizens will get four years of McCain’s brilliant temper, the incredible inexperience of Barack Obama, and the powerful two-headed monster of Hillary and Bill Clinton.”

“It will be very exciting to see what they’re capable of destroying, ” Cohen added.

Read more here.

Last night, John McCain appeared on the Daily Show and joked that he would like Dwight Schrute of The Office to be his running mate.

This is good news, mostly because it gives me an excuse to post another Office clip here.

Behold, America, your Republican Vice Presidential candidate:

(H/T: Richard Lorenc)

One of my colleagues at SAA circulated an interesting article today about “The Ron Paul Evolution.” Written by David McCarthy, Paul’s chief blogger for the Daily Dose, the piece appears in the American Conservative and states that while “the campaign dies down, the movement is just beginning.”

“Ron Paul owns the future,” influential evangelical Doug Wead concluded in an early April post on his personal blog. Wead makes an unlikely Paul enthusiast: his religious background might seem a better fit for Mike Huckabee. And his personal history—as an adviser to both Presidents Bush—might have inclined him toward the triumphant establishment candidate, John McCain. But in Ron Paul and the movement that championed him, Wead saw something remarkable: “His is a campaign of ideas. … His army was left unchallenged on the battlefield. Now their ideas have taken root and they will grow.”

Read the whole thing here.

And if you haven’t already heard about it, check out the plans for the Revolution March on D.C. July 12.

Who wants to go?!

This presidential race is intense. Hillary’s dodging sniper fire. Obama’s trying to shush his crazy pastor. McCain is…well, what is McCain doing?

Anyway, maybe it’s time for a fresh new candidate to shake things up. Someone like General Zod, perhaps.

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

—General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

Enjoy.

Some Friday fun—enjoy:


Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early