The city of Chicago is on a budget crunch, and its citizens are already the highest-taxed in the country, but why not get the Chicago Police Department a whole new fleet of SUVs?!

This is the latest brilliant idea from the powers that be. At a Chicago Crime Commission luncheon on Wednesday, Police Superintendent Jody Weis “said he would like to update the department’s ‘horrible’ fleet of squad cars…with Chicago’s rugged winters, a sport-utility vehicle might make more sense than the traditional Ford Crown Victoria.”

Rugged winters? Give me a break. I know it’s cold and we get some snow, but this isn’t exactly Alaska. I don’t know if Weis has bothered to take a quick tour of Chicago’s topography lately, but it’s pretty much a big flat grid. I’m actually not sure if Chicago could be any farther from rugged terrain.

Also on the shopping list? Better flashlights and more uniform guns. Chicagoans, your tax dollars at work.

(To be fair, Weis did note that these changes could be difficult to implement given the city’s financial crunch. He also touched on a variety of other plans to improve the police force. But, seriously. A whole new fleet of taxpayer-funded SUVs? You’ve got to be kidding.)