This presidential race is intense. Hillary’s dodging sniper fire. Obama’s trying to shush his crazy pastor. McCain is…well, what is McCain doing?

Anyway, maybe it’s time for a fresh new candidate to shake things up. Someone like General Zod, perhaps.

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

—General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

Enjoy.