Go Free Yourself

In the group I run with, Obama isn’t exactly getting glowing endorsements. There are the oh-so-witty quips—”Now that’s a change we can believe in,” referring to anything (and therefore nothing of substance)—and the disparaging comments and the snorts of disapproval. Fundamentalist libertarians and conservatives seem to have trouble understanding why one might consider a “tax-and-spend Democrat”…as if that’s any better than a spend-and-spend-and-spend Republican.

Anyway, I read an interesting post today by Andrew Sullivan, narrating why he (a conservative) wants Obama to win. Here’s an excerpt:

I haven’t sat through a single Obama speech without ideologically wincing at something. I fear that in the general election, his recourse to liberal tropes will begin to wear thin.

So why do I find myself still longing for him to win?

Because, I can’t see how domestic policy could become more statist and less responsible than the past eight years. Because I want to see such a record punished with electoral defeat for fear they still don’t know what they did wrong. Because I think Obama’s diplomatic skills and public relations brilliance could serve this country very well. And because of what Obama represents in our collective consciousness.

His candidacy is about renewing what America means to the world and to itself. It is about a collective cultural healing—especially on race. It is about representing the next generation and America’s less domineering but more inspiring place among nations. It is about transparency in government. It is about getting past this brutal cultural polarization for a while. It is about putting reason back into our discourse after the emotional manipulation of the Morris-Rove era. It is about ending torture, restoring Constitutional balance, and adding the power of words, of great words, to restore hope again.

Read Sullivan’s whole piece here. And, as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Now you don’t have to choose just one candidate. I mean, seriously, what a hassle that has been. Simply vote the McCain/Clinton/Obama ticket this November and watch all your nightmares come true.

“This nightmare ticket presents the American people with an unprecedented lack of opportunity in 2008,” Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote Tuesday. “For just one vote, citizens will get four years of McCain’s brilliant temper, the incredible inexperience of Barack Obama, and the powerful two-headed monster of Hillary and Bill Clinton.”

“It will be very exciting to see what they’re capable of destroying, ” Cohen added.

Read more here.

This presidential race is intense. Hillary’s dodging sniper fire. Obama’s trying to shush his crazy pastor. McCain is…well, what is McCain doing?

Anyway, maybe it’s time for a fresh new candidate to shake things up. Someone like General Zod, perhaps.

When I first came to your planet and demanded your homes, property and very lives, I didn’t know you were already doing so, willingly, with your own government. I can win no tribute from a bankrupted nation populated by feeble flag-waving plebians. In 2008 I shall restore your dignity and make you servants worthy of my rule. This new government shall become a tool of my oppression. Instead of hidden agendas and waffling policies, I offer you direct candor and brutal certainty. I only ask for your tribute, your lives, and your vote.

—General Zod
Your Future President and Eternal Ruler

Enjoy.

According to a report from the AP, researchers at the New England Historic Genealogical Society have discovered some intriguing family ties among this year’s presidential candidates:

Barack Obama is a distant cousin of Brad Pitt, and Hillary Rodham Clinton is related to Pitt’s girlfriend, Angelina Jolie.

Also on Clinton’s family tree? Madonna, Alanis Morissette, and Celine Dion.

Obama has a much more politically-charged lineage, including distant cousins like George W. Bush, George H.W. Bush, Gerald Ford, Lyndon Johnson, Harry Truman, James Madison, Dick Cheney, Winston Churchill, and Robert E. Lee.

Oh, and lest we forget McCain, he’s distantly related to Laura Bush.

Pass the potato salad; family reunions at the White House just got a lot more interesting.

(Hat Tip: Fark.com. You may have noticed I go there a lot. That’s because it’s awesome.)